One of the most terrible things to imagine, especially at this time when we are doing our best, is that we are a victim: good heavens! In any other time I would feel that this is too brutal a topic but at the higher frequency levels it is really important to comb through your menus to see if parts of you are being less helpful than they might. So please be brave and try to take a look.
Before we start, I say with ALL heart, that this writing is coming from a place without censure; apart from the fact that there is a bit of a victim in all of us, I was once quite a big victim in my default position and of course, that is where it hides, the great annihilator of happiness. So, come with me and look at a portrait of the extreme case:
The victim is born through the Ego, the dear old ego that smashes through almost everything to gets its way. If you are a serious student of self-change then it is time to look at the trickster of the ego.
The greatest asset of the ego is that it will rule your life if you let it and it will ALWAYS have a right answer, that is, a very good reason why you should do or not do something. In this case the ego can create:
Defensive behaviour is usually a second layer on top of the ego, the two can be well plastered together to make a big default position which will make life difficult whilst giving you the IMPRESSION that you are In Charge. Defensive behaviour is a sort of pride; it is usually deeply argumentative; intolerant; insensitive and arrogant. No dressing things up!
The ego can use every defensive trick on the block to install the block that prevents you from going forward … In defending itself the ego becomes Defence Master of every good suggestion made to it; so that if you know someone who is constantly in defensive mode, then you will know that they are VERY demanding, very tiring to be with.
Reasons for the overcontrolling ego.
I want to say something uplifting. If you have any of the following please do love yourself enough to look at why …. Find out where the wound is, or was, and love it better, because the wound and its power to create big toxicity in the body, is the greatest annihilator of every good thing that you truly are: perhaps even your life.
The victim is functioning from a very low self-esteem (the wound again) so low that yet another one of its beliefs is that NO-ONE is really hurt as much as the Victim. In these times, when there is massive upset in just about everyone, the victim’s upset will be the greatest… OUCH!
The reason? Because just about everyone on the planet has experienced some kind of intimate wounding…it is a universal truth to life here… so in these times we are all sorting ourselves out in the same rickety BOAT!
When someone becomes wounded they are threatened, the heart takes a blow and may even shut down…big trouble later…all sorts of misery, even a heart attack may follow and, when the wound is FED by constant reminders of its presence, it becomes active within the heart…and the following can be seen:
The creation and nourishment of spite
Passionate, negative outburst of temper
Verbal or physical lash-outs…often seemingly ‘from nowhere’
A display of tantrums
Obstructive behaviour to all help or kindness
Demanding, immature behaviour
Insensitivity to others’ needs
The list goes on! And it is NOT funny for the recipients of these events.
In the Victimhood stance it is almost impossible to appreciate anything in life. So please and please again, in these big and big times, nourish yourself with love, with hope for a better (especially INTIMATE) life when you’ve done this work and with the knowledge that we are all, all upset by what is happening to sort us out.